Not as it seems

I lie awake at night,
Thinking of everything that was nothing,
How nothing was ‘us’
Just you and me.
How nothing was special,
It’s just so.
Now I think,
Of all heartbreak and tears.
Thinking it was you I cried.
No, not because of you,
For you.
I tried to be strong,
I tried to throw on a smile
And walk with my chin up high.
I’m not afraid,
It’s not a lie.
I do it to help me, help who I am.